TSM Products Stainless Steel Cherry Stoner Review

TSM Products Stainless Steel Cherry Stoner
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You might of thought that the designer of this device called a 'Cherry Stoner' would have considered that people may wish to use it to de-stone cherries. And perhaps may even have tested that it works for that purpose.

If they had, I'd like to point out a couple of issues that they would have discovered on the first day. As I did:

Firstly, it requires three people to operate. One each to load and shake the hoppers and the other to operate the handle.

The hopper loaders need to have at least three independently swiveling eyeballs so that they can watch as they load cherries; shake the hopper at exactly the correct moment and with the precisely calibrated amount of jiggle to induce the cherries to drop into the receiving holes; and be ready to snatch their hand away before the insanely sharp pitting impaler impales their fingers.

The handle operator needs the strength of an olympic weightlifter coupled with the finesse of a grand master chess player to apply precisely the correct amount of force normal to the rotational moment of the axle so as to avoid lifting the device from the table and strewing cherries on the ceiling.

Secondly, the holes that the cherries fall into in order to be pitted are so deep that when filled with a cherry they provide a smooth launching pad for subsequent cherries to roll over - directly into the pitted cherry receptacle.

Thirdly, the discarded pit channel has been designed to channel dry, perfectly smooth, absolutely spherical balls. Pits, on the other hand, being none of these do not slide along the channel and instead overflow into the pitted cherry receptacle.

Fourthly, the insanely sharp impaler is extremely poorly attached to the cam lever. Thus if it impacts something like -oh, I don't know, say, um, a cherry pit- it immediately bends.

Fifthly, you can't remove the cam in order to clean the insanely sharp impalers which, by the time you're ready to clean them, are bent into all sorts of improbable angles and are forming a thicket of razor edges that is probably of a size and shape to be banned by the Geneva Conventions.

Having said that, I did process several boxes of cherries - and as there were cherry pits all over the kitchen at the end, there must be some pitted cherries in my freezer. And the process was quite fast if you remove the time spent in the emergency room.

So my recommendation is: if you have an extraordinary number of cherries, an excessive number of digits and a good dentist then this product is right for you.

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Product Description:
Easily removes cherry pits while not loosing the cherry juice. Pits 10 cherries at a time with a quick pull of the handle. Designed to pit small to large size cherries. 304 stainless steel construction will not rust. Heavy duty handle with comfortable rubber grip. Food safe plastic components included. Optional; unit can be removed from thermal plastic base, (included) for attachment to other table tops. Excellent for commercial small batch production. Made in USA.

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